that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
