youre lurking in front of me
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
