? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
