: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Text me some of your sweat
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
