Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I lost the right to judge tonight
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
