hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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