I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
