I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
