i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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