WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
