we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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