ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Hippo gnu deer
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
