Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
