ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
