so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
