yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
