I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
