at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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