yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
