i would punch a child for taco bell
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
