dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
