Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
