I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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