I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
