woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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