THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
