Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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