I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
