we have pet lesbian snakes
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
