We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
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