im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
dude i'm inner monologue high
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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