Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
