Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
