My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
