Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
