What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Rumble strips road head = magical
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
