So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
