hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
no, he came in my armpit
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
