Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Let the clothes fall where they may.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
