You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
