did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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