somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Randomize
