why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Success! We fucked roommates!
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
