I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
