What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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