i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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