You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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