when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
