wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
