so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
