Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Randomize
