I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize